This is Kyle. With all the kids starting school a new topic of discussion has come up in our home. When we planned our first two kids, they were supposed to be two years apart in school. Well, where we live, the cutoff date is way later than expected so that they'd only be one year apart in school. Kyra would start kindergarten the year after Breckyn. I don't think it's a good idea for two sisters to be so close in school. Wouldn't they compete for friends/boys/etc????????? On the other hand, some people say two girls so close in age would be best friends. What do you all think? I need your opinion! Please respond within the next year so we can make the best decision. I don't want to start Kyra then change our mind and make her repeat the same grade or something like that. I've seen siblings one year apart in school who wouldn't even acknowledge each other in the hall. I definitely don't want that to happen. I was two years apart from my brother and it was perfect.
9 comments:
Here's my two cents:
I think that's too close in school. Plus when you move most cut off dates for school are sooner right?
Instead of make her repeat kindergarten twice have her do preschool twice. That's what we're going to do (97% sure). If she did kindergarten twice she would know the kids that move up to first grade and not know anyone in her kindergarten class the second time she took it....if that makes sense.
Both our girls are in the predicament where they will either be the oldest in their class or the youngest. I am doing a significant lean to having them be the oldest. You might these are lame reasons but here's what I came up with:
- It would stink to see all your friends dating and driving their sophomore year, while you have to wait until your junior year.
-confidence: being older you have more confidence and understand the curriculum better. You're more of a leader than a follower
Downside = you could potentially get bored because you're older....
Anyway, I would let her repeat preschool again.
Curious...what is the cut off date there?
ps did any of this make sense?
one more thing...my brother and i were just one year apart in school and I didn't like it. I know that if I had a sister it would be even more miserable. You like to be your own person and it would be hard to do that being that close school wise. My girls are the best of friends (with the occasional NOT friends moment :D) but I still think that is way too close for my girls.
you'll have to let us know what you decide and why...it's been on our minds as well.
My bro and sis were one year apart and it was a nightmare- but that may have just been personalities clashing no matter how far apart they were. I think the two years is good, if you can get away with it, just because it gives each of the girls a chance to have their own identity in school, their own set of friends, and their own experiences. They'll be lumped together in life enough as it is. That's my opinion. However, take into consideration their personalities. They may do just fine - just because it worked for you and your bro at two years apart doesn't mean it will for them. So much of school and relationship success is determined by the individual's approach to situations and influences that we may not have a lot of control over. You guys are smart and in tune - you'll know what to do when the time comes. If it makes you feel any better we're having the same struggle with Chase and kindergarten. He misses the cutoff by 9 days and I don't think he's going to be happy waiting another year. But, I don't have to factor in a sibling yet, so I can't say I totally understand! Good luck!
Hello my friend, I voted for 2 years apart. I feel not only will that be best for the girls but it will help you and Kyle in saving/planning for college. But maybe that won't matter to you. I definitely wouldn't have liked being 1 year apart from my brother - 2 was good. Anyway, you know your girls the best and you and Kyle both came from large families, I'm sure you'll make a good choice.
You know Ryan could/should have started this year, but we waited. I think it will also depend on how anxious Dana Lee will be to have more time to spend with the other two to four children you will have at home by then ;)
As a teacher, I have seen several examples - even sibs almost a year apart but in the same grade. I don't think the grade they're in matters nearly as much as just the personalities of the kids.
Thank goodness for prayer for decisions like these, no?
My mom started me in school when I was 4 because I have a September birthday. My sister went to school the year before and I wanted to join in the fun. I am 15 months younger than my older sister. While we got along well and had fun together, being the youngest in my class was hard sometimes. My mom regretted sending me early because I hated school at first. I just wasn't ready for school when I went. I wanted to be home to play. I think I turned out alright, but I think school might have been different had I been one of the oldest kids rather than one of the youngest. I did have weird hobbies to make myself stand out from my sister. I play the banjo and I was in plays. If you don't want your poor second child to do strange things to separate herself from her sister's identity, wait an extra year.
I'd have to agree with the general concensus that it's usually better to have siblings two years apart in school. We have a similar situation. Alyson (5) is just staring school. She has an April birthday. Koco (4) will be turning 5 on Friday. The Michigan cut-off date is in December. I haven't been so concerned about how Alyson would feel if Koco was just a year behind her in school. I've mostly been concerned for Koco, and been thinking about what it would be like for her to be one year and two years behind Aly in school. The maturity difference between our girls is one reason we are watiting to start Koco in kindergarten when Alyson is in 2nd grade. She needs to grow up a little more before she starts elementary school. Another driving force behind our decision is that as previously mentioned, I don't think most states have such a generous cut-off date. I'd hate to have Koco be one of the youngest in her class should we move to another state with the standard cut-off date. Here are the reasons why...she may not be as mature as the other children, and even if she is, she may not be treated as such by piers in her class who know she is younger. I also don't want teachers to exect Koco to be like her older sister Alyson just because they are sisters. Two years separation may be just long enough to provide a buffer for this potential problem. And lastly, speaking from a girl's point of view, I know that waiting to date until 16 was really difficult for friends I had who had birthdays late in the school year...such a girl thing I know, but something I consider to be very valid.
I don't know if Kyla feels like Kourtney, wanting to begin school when her older sister does, but I think there are some great things to do to help her adjust. We are currently exploring preschool options, YMCA classes, and more educational kinds of outings I can take her on that will help her fill the void she is experiencing as Alyson goes to school. One interesting option that East Lansing schools offer is a kindergarten for young 5's. It's half days and more like a preschool because children who go to the young 5's attend normal kindergarten the following year. I know people who live here that didn't know they had that option. Maybe your school distric has something similar.
Regardless of all the advice you are getting, I'm sure you both will make the right decision for your girls. I bet you are very glad you have more time before you have to decide!
so I don't have a lot to say....but erin and I were only one year apart in school and it was just fine!!!
My brother and I were one year apart in school (14 months in real time) and we loved it. (At least I did.) We were each other's best friend. Maybe it would be different with two girls, but I know I really enjoyed having a brother to look after me, and to do activities with when others couldn't. (Plus my family moved a lot growing up, but I knew I always had my brother at my new school.)
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